A, B, C, D and E continued...

A - I visited and stayed with during the last Joe Fund show in Pitt. Nothing happened. I had been so tired with pulling double shifts at work that I really didn't mind not having the usual big shibang during weekends when I do visit. I even welcomed his new Playstation toy that basically kept him and his friends occupied, and gave me tons of time to sleep. This visit, no arguments, but it was clear - we can never go back. I'm glad to announce however that we have bonded enough to remain good friends. I left early in the morning with one last hug. I will always hold him in high regards.

B - Though my imaginary brick laying skills may not be good, circumstances helped fortify my imaginary wall. Googlie eyed, and still fully inspiring but still surrounded by complications. The more I see who he is, the more I understand why it was hard for him to open up. I will always admire him, however, for his talent, for his goals, for his views that never seemed to agree with mine. With enough motivation, maybe his dream of getting out of this town will come true. I hope it does, he deserves everything.

C - No, he is not at all the vengeful bitter type. And now, it's not a question of what he wants, but what I want, and how well I am with taking disappointment. I'm trying to keep him at arms length emotionally. Every moment with him I can't help but think, "I've met you before. I know who you are. You will leave too."

D - Great voice, but now I know why I was itching to list him off. Great voice, and really, hindsight being as it is, there was nothing about him. I haven't seen the smiling, and staring, or heard his singing for awhile. I hope he's doing well and I will always remember when he did manage to make me smile. I guess sometimes you just know when something is not at all going to work out. He was a Leo after all.

E - Mystery Man to some of you is not such a mystery anymore. His smile can still brighten my day better than 10mg of Valium. His eyes will still always make me blush. And it still only takes 60 seconds withing conversating with him before I start to stutter. But that's who he his, and that's the kind of reaction he gets from everyone, I would guess. I had a crush, and like most crushes, slowly it's fading away. There's a sadness in this process, because I found that infatuation to be very healthy, and helpful in distracting me from everything that might have gone wrong at the time. Everytime things seemed futile I would shrug and go, "Oh, well, I'm gonna go stare at Mystery Man and forget about it." Maybe by the time the crush is completely crushed I can find another impossible possibility to take his place. Then again, I will always have Mraz.

So, the list dwindles, but in a way it's just getting longer. I'm yet to tackle organizing my address book to jot down recent additions to my phone list. But I have the important ones memorized, and I guess for now that suffices.

On an extra note, lately, when I find myself with spare time, I know who it is I want to call or spend my time with. I think right now he surpasses the list. I am under great belief that maybe I've found a friend.